When we talk of unfair negotiating methods, we are of course not talking about our own behavior. In practice we will all come across steadfast advocates of unfair methods and when we do, we must show that we too are shrewd customers and will not have the wind put up us so easily. In many cases this alone turns the tide; you can then continue the negotiation on a more constructive level and concentrate on the actual matter at hand, i.e. the subject of the negotiations.
 
There are innumerable unfair negotiating practices and more or less effective countermeasures for each and every one. But do we want to have to learn them all off by heart just to be equipped for all eventualities? In any case there is already one major snag here: to be able to successfully stave off an unfair attack, you must select the best tool from your varied arsenal for the particular occasion, and this is not always necessarily the best overall. After all, you do not want to risk the entire negotiation getting out of hand.
 
The use of unfair means, whatever they may be, always has as its goal to knock you off balance during negotiations, to undermine your confidence, make you nervous and ultimately throw you off guard to then demand the biggest possible concessions from you. The chosen methods vary greatly and are also used in combination with each other:
 
The big talker who cuts you off mid-sentence and never stops talking themselves; The assailant who resorts to personal attacks; The liar who tries to deceive you with false information; The swashbuckler who never misses an opportunity to threaten you with this and that; The poker face who, whatever happens, keeps a straight face, avoids eye contact and permanently rummages through documents; The hot-air merchant with extreme demands as well as those looking to catch you out, etc., etc.  
As we have said, you can combat each of these with very specific methods but because the intention behind the use of unfair means is always the same, such tricks can also be fended off by quite basic means. You thereby save yourself the trouble of learning lots of different measures and run less risk of choosing the wrong one.
 
You have three main principles at your disposal which all aim to defuse the situation and ultimately, and most effectively, expose unfair procedures and return to cooperative communication. These principles include recognizing unfair methods, maintaining your own superiority and insistently asking questions.
 
1. Recognize unfair methods
The most important of all defensive measures is recognizing that you are dealing with an unfair negotiating partner. If you have no good reason to trust someone, don’t. Try and ascertain whether your counterpart is using unfair means. As soon as you know there are marked cards in play, generally they can be reshuffled. At least you won’t be completely taken to the cleaners and walk straight into the trap. Show and tell your negotiating partner that you have seen through their tricks (exposure method). Get down to the facts and talk about the interests that lie behind the unfair means. If a subtle hint does not help, say again unequivocally that you have seen through their strategy and that you feel it would be more constructive to talk about content and put the emphasis on cultivated and fair negotiating methods.
 
2. Remain confident and be polite
Wherever possible, control your emotions. Try to deal with the people and the problem separately. If you really have no other choice though, do let off some steam but do not be insolent or cheeky. If you engage in acts of reprisal, this will either escalate the situation or your counterpart will have achieved their aim. If you lose control, you are simply showing your uncertainty and this is exactly what your counterpart wants. One is quickly inclined to compensate for glib effrontery with concessions and this is precisely what your counterpart was hoping for. So do not let them chip away at your superiority; instead be overtly polite, which is a much cleverer way of showing them they are rumbled. You are also making it clear that you are not willing to stoop to their level. In such cases it is much better to teach your opposite number a lesson by acting completely to the contrary, showing and confronting them with their own behavior.
 
3. Ask questions
There is nothing quite as effective as questions when it comes to making tactical constructs waver! Ask lots of questions and question any assertion made by your counterpart. Concentrate here once again on the content and factual aspects of the assertions. It is not even a matter here of refuting arguments and assertions, but much more about exposing the methods behind them.
 
Essentially, do not let yourself be thrown and do not play false. Show your counterpart both verbally and non-verbally that you know all the tricks and are fed up with them. Do not be provoked and maintain a fair stance. People who fail to read such clear signals only discredit themselves. Even if it is the absolute last resort, some negotiations simply never find a common basis because the counterpart will insist on using unfair means. Under such circumstances, even breaking off negotiations can be considered at a push if necessary. Not as an empty threat, but as the final outcome, and straight out.
 
Author
Stéphane Etrillard
Management Institute SECS
Schloss Elbroich - Am Falder 4
D-40589 Düsseldorf
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info@etrillard.com